Dynasty Bowl III

After a high-octane championship featuring one of the most successful franchises in DFL history against a rather unexpected Cinderella, it was the Bikini Bottom Stars who prevailed and took home the Borealis Trophy this year.

Bikini Bottom started their offseason back in early March of 2023, making a pair of trades with the Toronto Hogs. BKB acquired Daniel Jones and Jahan Dotson in a move away from Michael Pittman, and the Stars also shed Ryan Tannehill to clear space and accrue future capital. Later in the offseason, Bikini Bottom’s savvy scouting department picked up Minnesota’s Ty Chandler from waivers, and they also went out to nab Matthew Stafford from the Iqaluit Trout.

The rookie draft was once again quiet for Bikini Bottom, at least in the first round. With their earliest pick coming at the 2.03, the Stars had to rely once again on their scouting department. They left draft week with Zach Charbonnet, Michael Wilson, Evan Hull, and the crown jewel, Puka Nacua.

The Rams rookie WR became a superstar in Bikini Bottom almost instantly, taking full advantage of a myriad opportunities in the early weeks while teammate Cooper Kupp was sidelined. By Week 3, he was a mainstay in the Stars’ starting lineup – he started every game from Week 3 through the postseason, scoring 248.9 fpts during that stretch (an average of 17.8 per week).

Despite an impressive and consistent season from Nacua, the Stars started out rather lukewarm. Through the first six games, they sat at 3-3 while HCC rivals Winnipeg and PKO vaulted to 5-1 starts.

By Week 9, the Stars were 4-5 and looking like they would fall out of the playoff picture entirely, battling for the seven-spot with SCC’s Gold Coast. For a moment, they believed it was time to concede and retool for 2024.

But in Week 10, things turned for the better. A 4-1 streak to finish the season was more than enough to place Bikini Bottom firmly back in the postseason race, thanks in large part to Nick Bosa’s dominance to the tune of 103.2 fpts, George Kittle’s explosiveness leading to 89.3 fpts, and Kyren Williams’s dominance on the ground to rack up 78.9 fpts.

When the playoff bracket was settled, Bikini Bottom was in, and comfortably so, but the road laid out for them was nothing short of staggering. In Round 1, they drew a matchup with Dynasty Bowl I champion Choccolocco Railfans, who had dominated all season and finished as the 2-seed with an impressive 11-3 record. It came down to the wire, but the Stars prevailed by a razor-thin 1.82 points.

In the semi-finals, Bikini Bottom visited Winnipeg, the home of the second-ever Dynasty Bowl championship trophy. But once again, the visiting team came out on top; the Stars took this match by a much wider margin, 236 to 206.

The faces BKB saw on the other side of Dynasty Bowl III were faces almost nobody was expecting in the past offseason. The Toronto Hogs found a way to take a three-win team and turn it into a championship-level buzzsaw. They notched the one-seed after an 11-3 regular season record and dominated PKO in the semis with 293 points (a single-game DFL record).

Among many others – Kyren Williams, Nacua, and Chris Godwin – it was Davante Adams who stepped up in the biggest moment. In each of the third and fourth quarters of the championship game, Adams brought down touchdowns. He finished with a 13-126-2 stat line and 40.6 points. He led all Stars in fpts and was a major catalyst towards overcoming the early deficit facing BKB.

In the end, it was a 265-251 finish. The 516 total points scored marked the highest total in DFL history. Bikini Bottom’s victory marked the third of three championships claimed by the HCC, and the third of three championships claimed by an 8-6 team.

It was nothing short of a historic moment for the Bikini Bottom Stars, whose parent organization (Team Godlose) also won a baseball championship earlier in 2023. Their dynasty season put them at 29-13 all-time, good for second-best in the league. They secured HCC pennants in each of 2021 and 2022. And with this season now in the books, the Bikini Bottom Stars are the most decorated franchise in Sixth City.